i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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