I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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