dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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