why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Pants are for mortals
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize