Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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