Barsexuality is the new black.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
