My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
