I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Randomize
