you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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