I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
