Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
