Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
