does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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