I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize
