Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
