I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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