Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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