Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
