we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
