It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
