But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
