Little spoons don't ask big questions
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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