im having a threesome with these popsicles
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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