come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize