There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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