Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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