hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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