You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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