VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
