Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
The air was thick with penises
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
