He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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