I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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