At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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