Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize