Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
