Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
