God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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