Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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