operation harelip BJ is a go
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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