i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
