It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
