This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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