she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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