ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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