Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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