Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
