As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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