I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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