Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
