I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
