i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
