I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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