oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Randomize
