I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
