Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
